Two years ago today, Evan D and I got really dressed up and went to a fancy church and made some significant promises, then fed people cake and gin and danced until we collapsed from exhaustion. And it was glorious, my friends. Simply glorious.
Our brief marriage has been blessed with so much goodness and fortune- so much more than we could ever deserve. As we were planning our wedding, Evan and I were reminded regularly that we were working on a wedding, but we should really focus on building the foundation of our marriage…and build that foundation, we did.
Today, though, I want to go back and talk about the wedding itself. It might be an odd analysis, but I truly believe that our wedding day led to a profound change in who I am as a person, who Evan and I are as a couple, and how we manage our relationships.
I am, historically, a very independent and self-sufficient person. I’ve encountered many people who are reluctant to make decisions or who seek much council before they commit to things, and I do not share that trait. Rather, I find that it’s usually much more efficient for me to weigh my options fully, then make a choice and enact a plan myself.
Planning the wedding, this was actually pretty helpful. I would research and lay out the options, Evan and I would discuss, and then we had a deadline for deciding things. This was actually a great time in our relationship, when Evan and I first started learning how to work together on significant projects. It was on our wedding day, though, and a few days leading up to the wedding that I realized that I needed to step off of the control bus and let other people climb aboard. Though I was insanely hesitant to let others carry out our wedding, this was actually the catalyst for significant change in my life.
Guys, our friends and family absolutely overwhelmed Evan and I with love and support. We knew there were awesome people in our lives, truly. But for the weekend that encompassed our wedding, it was like we were surrounded by an entire community whose sole purpose was to fill our lives with joy. That sounds so hyperbolic, I know, but that’s exactly how it felt when we were at the altar, looking out at all of our loved ones. Their happiness and hopefulness and blessings radiated back at us, and it was simply magnificent.
When I say that that day changed our lives and our relationships, I truly mean it. I am, usually, a reserved person and Evan and I aren’t the most highly social couple. We’re not hermits or particularly antisocial, but we traditionally wouldn’t go noticeably out of our way to be social. But when, in his homily, our priest reminded everyone gathered that they were an important part of our marriage, it really resonated with us. Just as our family and friends are in our lives to provide comfort, encouragement, love and sustenance, so too are we required to feed our relationships.
And now, more than ever, we engage in our relationships as much as we are able. We drive a few hours most weekends to see friends or family. We write notes and send cards. We text and we skype and we facebook and take photos. We laugh and hug and snuggle and generally try to give back as much love as we are able. This focus has enriched our lives and resulted in so much contentedness and, as I suggested above, has profoundly changed our lives. So today we celebrate our marriage, certainly, but we also express so much gratitude to the community which sustains us.